I’ve got quite a few responses from people saying they love their job and are inspired but need some guidance on how to deal with difficult people at work or how to handle that co-worker or horrible boss who is “making life hell at work.”
I will dedicate this post to dealing with toxic co-workers and the next one to discuss a full-blown toxic work environment.
If you are lucky, you’ve never come across any such evil creatures as the emotional pirates, the energy vampires, or the hypercritical gremlins. These are the people who only care about themselves, see only their own perspective, and who physically and emotionally drain you.
However, if you’ve been working long enough, you’ve most likely had to manage toxic or bullying behaviors. Toxic people are:
Selfish. It’s always about them, and they show no real interest or concern for others.
Mean-spirited. They never have a nice word to say about anyone. If they badmouth others, chances are they’re doing the same talking s***t about you, too.
Liars. They show a complete disregard for the truth. They deliberately withhold information or reinvent the truth.
Special, or so they think. They believe that they are entitled to special treatment and are the center of the universe.
Always right, even when they are not. Any rational and logical discussion will fall on deaf ears.
Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do to change toxic colleagues, especially those who hold a higher position of authority than you. One of the most important career skills you can master is to protect yourself from their evilness.
How to deal with a toxic co-worker?
Effectively set boundaries: be aware of your feelings, define what you will and will not tolerate, and assertively communicate your boundaries.
Protect yourself: have a solid defense with a paper trail that works to your benefit. Save emails, texts, and voicemail messages.
Exercise caution and good judgment in sharing information; don’t share confidences. Anything you say and do will be repeated in a negative way and used against you.
Hear no evil, do no evil: others’ bad behavior is no excuse to do the same. Remain positive and act with integrity. Stay true to yourself and do the 'right' thing. Do not engage in the lying game.
Stay strong and believe in yourself. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
Whether or not you’ve experienced a boss or coworker from "hell" I recommend “Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work” by Paul Babiak & Robert Hare. At some point in your career, you will come across a coworker or a leader who will make your work life utterly miserable. Read this book and remember its lessons.
