I am baffled about the Ryan Lochte and his Olympic teammates’ story. I was following the news trying to make sense of it all; a 32 year old Olympic medalist making up a story about being robbed at gun point. By now Lochte has apologized for the way he handled himself and for not being “candid” in describing the series of unfortunate events starting the media firestorm. There’s no doubt a gun was pulled, which can be traumatic when one is in a foreign country known for its high rates of violent crimes. But it’s disappointing when someone who has so much going for him makes bad choices. It’s definitely an interesting spin on the Phelps “Rule Yourself” ad. It is indeed what you do in the dark that puts you in the light.
While a decorated Olympian or celebrities caught in a big fat lie make headlines, when it comes to lying, research shows that it is a very common human behavior. According to Jeff Hancock in his TED Talk “The Future of Lying” we all lie at least once or twice a day. Now this is an old TED Talk from September 2012, pre-historic times in social media terms, but it’s still relevant.
https://www.ted.com/talks/jeff_hancock_3_types_of_digital_lies?language=en
So the truth is that we all lie, and other than some pathological liars, we all lie for a reason. We lie to protect ourselves, or a relationship and for our own gain. And I believe that most professionals would agree that lying seems to be pervasive at work and often with the best of intentions. To quote Al Pacino: “I always tell the truth, even when I lie.” It reminds me of the movie “The Invention of Lying.” Imagine a world where lying doesn’t exit. A world where you can tell a co-worker you despise that you’ve never liked him, that you can’t stand the sound of his voice, that his phone chatter drives you absolutely nuts, and his stories about his weekend shenanigans are pathetic and god awfully boring. Oh, and being able to call out any office BO offenders. The message of the movie though is that the biggest winner is the guy who learns how to lie. But unlike in the movie, in reality, there's always been a lot of lying in the workplace. People fib, flatter, embellish, omit, misinform, cover up mistakes, and “bend” or “stretch” the truth in a million and one creative ways. In building successful working relationships, telling “white” lies might prove to be a great competitive advantage. Think about the GEICO commercial in which Abraham Lincoln’s wife asks if her dress makes her look fat. We tend to have implicit agreements with each other such as “don’t tell me the dress makes me look fat, and I won’t tell you your new hair color is gaudy.” There is always a need for kindness and tact. They are crucial skills to form healthy relationships in business and in life. However, any other forms of lying whether by embellishment, omission, malicious gossip, or deceptive behaviors to misrepresent information have potentially career-ending consequences. Honesty is truly the best policy. It makes it easy to keep your story straight as there is only one version of the truth. Lies require a lot of mental energy to keep and maintain. They keep us chained to the past whereas the truth sets us free to channel all our mental energy and focus on moving forward. And eventually, the truth comes out. Once you’re caught in a deception, even if it’s a common one, the trust is broken. And once trust is lost, it’s hard to recover. So when we are about to say or do something, we need to remember Lochte, an amazingly talented athlete who would forever be remembered not only for winning 12 Olympic medals but as the guy who vandalized a gas station and lied about it. Let’s make sure our legacy reflects the values we hold. We are what we do: the choices we make and the actions we take.
