What are you seeking to accomplish in your career? What big goals do you wish to achieve? What is holding you back from these professional goals and dreams? Are you stuck tangled up in the clutches of fear? Often, when it comes to chasing our goals, we allow fear to keep us from taking risks and taking the leap. If you were fearless, what would you make happen in your career or in your life? In all the years I’ve spent helping people set and achieve goals, I have only very rarely encountered a lazy person. Sure, there are times when people get lazy and don’t get things done, but when it comes to BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals), it is typically fear that’s the root of procrastination and inaction.
Fear is our own inner demon waiting to rear its ugly head and speak to us in a constant inner chatter narrating our deepest shame, guilt, and insecurities as soon as we feel the winds of change around us and at the mere sight of new possibilities. Fear will use any opportunity to claim our attention to alert us to real and perceived threats and dangers. Now, even when the threats are real, fear is a choice, as are hope and optimism. When we sense a threat, our brain reacts instantly, and we tend to respond in fight, flight, or avoidance mode. When we see a dragon we can run away screaming, decide to slay the dragon and fight it to the bitter end, or freeze into inaction burying our head in the sand. But there is a more constructive way to face our fear – befriend it. Here’s how: 1. Identify the need What do you want to achieve, and what is important to you about fulfilling this goal? Is it really a “must have” in your life? What are your success criteria? What would you gain by achieving your goal? What would you need to change? What would you need to give up or lose in order to achieve this goal? Are you willing to pay the price? 2. Identify the fear We experience fear when something is important and the stakes are high. Fear focuses our attention on problems, anything and everything that can go wrong. Fear is a great teacher. When we name our fear and recognize our avoidance behaviors, we can use fear as a springboard for action. As Yoda says: “named must your fear be before banish it you can.” Get specific about what you're afraid of. What is holding you back? What choices are you avoiding? What are you not ready to change, yet? 3. Befriend the fear Remember that being afraid of things going wrong is the wrong way to make things right. Reframe each fear and re-focus attention on solutions and finding a way to make your dreams come true. Challenges and failure are a part of every success story. Turn your fear into power channeling its energy into positive actions. Embrace fear and turn it into an incredible opportunity to challenge and stretch yourself. Flex your resourcefulness muscles and inspire yourself to grow in new ways; it’s a surefire path to success in all areas of your professional and personal life. 4. Work with the fear The path to success is action. Now that you’ve named and befriended your fear, proceed to name the choices that will help you reach your goal. Make your fear work for you in creating a sound action plan. Consider the road blocks and identify the steps that will get you closer to your desired future. Do the work. Hard work is not a guarantee of success. Things will either work out, or they won’t, but on the path to success no effort goes to waste. At the very least, it’s good practice. Success comes in many forms. Sometimes you achieve, but you are always learning something from everything you go through. Don’t give up; you may be closer to your goal than you think. Befriending fear is not about denying the possibility of failure; rather it is about knowing failure is par for the course and trusting that no matter what, things will get better, that we will come out victorious. To befriend and dance with fear means finding a way to achieve the things we thought we couldn’t do.
