In the current political climate, many of us are experiencing anger, frustration and fear. In the past weeks, I found myself increasingly engaged in the collective co-brooding - dwelling on and rehashing the process leading to and the aftermath of Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court confirmation. To avoid drowning in a sea of negativity and to stay afloat I had to remind myself to practice self-care.
As humans, we are destined to experience distress and disappointment in our personal life as well as in our work life. For many of us, no matter how many times we had to deal with disappointment, it seems we are never quite equipped to do so effectively. It is important to note that not all disappointments are created equal. Not getting a promotion or a pay raise might not be as emotionally devastating as losing a job, or facing a truly impactful personal challenge. Yet, whatever the challenge, most of us do not have an innate ability to quickly overcome the temporary setback by taking a long-term perspective. We’ve all heard that opportunities often come disguised as disappointment. But we never get a playbook teaching us how to use the challenge to our advantage.
Do you feel disappointed? Are you holding onto an unsatisfactory outcome and are feeling devastated by unfulfilled expectations?
The best way I have found to move forward in a moment of crisis is to focus on the things within my control. When I am feeling overwhelmed by the world, taking care of myself: spending time with loved ones, working out, reading, watching Netflix, and yes treating myself to dark chocolate can help me restore a sense of well-being to keep going. Focusing on the choices that are available to us rather than on the losses sustained and the benefits foregone allows us to move forward in a more positive way.
A few ideas to add to your self-care plan:
Spend time with people who uplift you. At times when you feel a growing sense of emotional depletion, negative people are your greatest enemies. We tend to develop the same level of energy as the people we hang out with. Make sure that you surround yourself not only with people who love you, but more importantly with people who will help you see the sun where you could only see clouds.
Spend mindful time in nature. Countless studies have shown that spending time outside makes us healthier and happier. Most of us spend our days indoors disconnected from the natural world. Being outdoors breathing fresh air can clear your head and make the tension melt away. Take the time to surround yourself with trees, to gaze at the mountains, or to stand by the beach and hear the soothing sound of ocean waves. Open yourself and pay attention to the beauty of the world in a focused and mindful way.
Spend time on proactive actions. When it feels like the world is going down the drain, become an activist, find the things you can do. Ask yourself: what strengths and tools do I have at my disposal that could be helpful? Even a small action can make a big difference in your world. You’d be surprised how empowering and stress relieving it is to just do something for the common good, for a cause that you believe in. No action taken, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
And most importantly, take the long-term perspective: focus on the war, not the battles. Look beyond the current disappointment to find the possibilities emerging in the horizon. Find your inner strength and your supporting tribe to restore your energy to keep fighting for a better tomorrow.
