It feels a bit uncaring to be writing my blog as destructive fires are ripping through California. My heart goes out to everyone affected and suffering devastation and loss. This weigh heavy on me. But I know that the best way to cope with natural disasters is to try to stick to an established routine. And so, I want to share my thoughts on striking just the right balance between pushing too hard or not pushing hard enough to fulfill dreams and achieve goals. Knowing how to put in the effort that’s required for improvement and growth but not over-the-top effort that comes at the expense of good health and relationships is an important skill for maintaining well-being.
I am happy to report I am now fully recovered from my ankle sprain. But I am still working on finding just the right balance between my natural inclination to always push myself to work harder and giving myself permission to rest, to restore, and renew. In our culture, many of us are afflicted with ‘never-doing-enough-itus:’ that gnawing, nagging worry that we are not doing enough, or not getting enough done. In part I shared my approach to taking mindful pauses from the never-ending grind, the ceaseless pulling against the demands of work and life. But what about those who resist this pull preferring to stay warm and cozy in their comfort zone?
We’ve all heard it a million times: in order to grow, we need to branch out of our comfort zone. Unfortunately, it is certainly easier said than done. We are hard-wired to want to resist change, or things that make us uncomfortable. When presented (or confronted) with opportunities to push our boundaries, the instinctive response is typically to try and talk ourselves out of trying something new and scary – why upset the apple cart? The truth is that the comfort zone is, well, comfortable. It is pleasant, warm, and safe. Why would anyone want to step out of it when it would require much effort?
Well, as nice as it is to live in the comfort zone, it eventually becomes boring. When we don’t fully engage in life to grow into our full potential, we end up in the gray zone – stagnant and uninspired. It’s important to remember that growing into one’s potential is a process. While getting uncomfortable is a necessary part of the learning journey, venturing out of the comfort zone needn’t be in big steps. Small actions for consistent improvement might be a better strategy over the long haul. In our personal life the decision to challenge ourselves might be a personal choice. However, at work, if we are not showing motivation to do our best and grow, we may not be the only ones who get bored. The company would likely lose interest as well assigning the less driven to that dreaded quadrant marked: “low potential employee.” Landing there rarely results in long-term career prosperity.
But how can we challenge our brain to overlook the benefits of a steady performance and zero stress in favor of taking chances and making changes? Change requires mental energy and resources, and yes, it may trigger stress. But while too much stress can be detrimental, it is not always a bad thing. Stress can serve as motivation to get things done or overcome challenges. This good stress is called eustress. It can propel us forward to achieve new and exciting goals and lead us along the path of continuous learning and growth. Breaking through the status quo can create just enough eustress to ramp up our focus, creativity, and drive.
Fortunately, we can build our mental strength. As our mobility and flexibility depend on the strength of our muscles, so does our mental agility depend on the strength of our mental muscles to embrace change in our life: to seek out new opportunities, to look on the bright side, and on occasion, to roll with the punches. We can practice stepping out of the comfort zone. It is when we routinely embrace change and take on calculated risks that we can learn what we are made of and how much we can handle. Things may not always turn out as well as we expect, or can even lead to disappointment. But the point is that as long as we keep practicing dealing with change, the more we’ll be able to respond effectively to challenges as well as opportunities. This practice builds the confidence to seize opportunities and to live with greater curiosity for a more fun and colorful existence.
When we take control of the steering wheel, we stay focused on what’s in front of us. We know that when things go south, it will only be temporary until we bounce back and find our new groove. We have an unlimited potential and capacity for learning and growth. We are always capable of more. And often, to make progress, we need to feel the pressure. Whether it is a deadline, fear of being passed over for promotion, or an organizational change. But if there are no external pressures to nudge you forward and upward, you can self-induce a little stress to work outside your comfort zone. Try and change your workflow, or take on a project that scares you. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; they are the stepping stones in the learning process.
Sending best wishes to all those threatened by the California Wildfires. Please stay safe.
