I love Thanksgiving. I didn’t celebrate the holiday growing up in Israel. So, it was a bit of an odd holiday for me at first. But it has become my favorite holiday. There’s just so much joy in celebrating this national day of giving thanks - from spending time with family and friends, to eating delicious food prepared with love, and having the freedom to observe the day however we want. For the past twenty years, as we have been hosting Thanksgiving in our home, we pause to recognize and give thanks for all the good things in our life.
We learn the first lessons in manners and respect as children. For some, as soon as they begin speaking, they are taught to say “please and thank you.” To me, saying “thank you” is transactional. It’s gratitude outwardly focused for a kindness received. Feeling gratitude, on the other hand, is a deeper emotional experience of recognizing and being thankful for all that we have and all the goodness that is in our life. This does not imply that life is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. There are days when nothing seems to be “sunny.” And even on days which are mostly sunny, we can still experience moments of partly cloudy skies. Even a good life presents a full range of experiences and emotions. But no experience is without a lesson, and no emotion is without purpose. While I do not wish any ill will on anyone, I believe that we are genetically wired to have the depth and capacity to not only bear loss, disappointment, and pain but to overcome hardship. Negative experiences needn’t determine our trajectory forward. We can find that silver lining to push past obstacles and thrive against all odds. But living with gratitude in the face of adversity requires a daily active practice, not merely an annual day of giving thanks.
Admittedly, it's a devil's advocate kind of question, but one that bears asking – what does it mean to develop and live with a gratitude mindset? First, it means recognizing that gratitude is a choice. The option to adopt a grateful attitude means looking for and noticing the positive things, or the more optimistic viewpoint in any given situation. Gratitude is a powerful life-skill. And like any skill, seeking the good in people and seeing the positive can be developed through deliberate practice. Cognitive re-framing is a simple life hack – what we focus on grows. When we proactively bring positive thoughts and feelings to consciousness, we can shift to a more optimistic mindset even if nothing about the situation itself changes. We can then tap into inner resources of creativity to come up with fresh ideas and solutions. There are many different techniques to shift negative thoughts and feelings into positive ones. For me, writing a gratitude list is a very powerful tool. It reminds me that I am surrounded by abundance and have so many things to be thankful for. Yes, I have made many mistakes and have many flaws, but I also feel grateful for my unique talents and strengths. I have a genuine warm feeling of thankfulness toward the world and the special people in my life who love me, support me, uplift me, and bring me happiness and joy. Why don’t you try this right now? Think of somebody or something that makes you frustrated, angry, or upset. Now think of anything at all in your life for which you feel thankful. For one minute write down all the positive things associated with the thing you are grateful for. When you invoked a feeling of gratitude, how did your body respond? Have you noticed any change in your mood?
Gratitude is vital for well-being as well as for a fruitful career. It is strong social skill that helps draw people to you to make you a good friend, colleague, and leader. Read more: Harvard In Praise of Gratitude and Forbes on Benefits Of A Year-Round Attitude of Gratitude In The Workplace
What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? How can you bring more gratitude into your personal and professional life this holiday season and in the coming year?
I wish you a heart filled with gratitude on this Thanksgiving and throughout the year.
