In any workplace there’s bound to be some drama because humans are emotional. And it seems people are more irritable and short-tempered in the time of COVID-19. I’ve heard many express the sentiment that the Coronavirus is making us all mean. So, if we are not careful, we might get caught in a vicious cycle of negativity and unproductive behaviors.
Drama is all about assuming the worst about other people’s intentions and playing the blame game. The truth is that we are not very good at figuring out the deeper reasons behind people’s behavior, or sometimes even our own. To try and fill in the gaps in the sparse information that we receive, we first make assumptions about why the other person behaves in a certain way, and then we rush to judgment about the person and the situation.
It is a relief having someone to blame when we experience uncomfortable emotions. And when we pin the blame on someone else, it becomes easy to label the person as “bad,” “stupid,” a “jerk,” etc. Such belittling perception about people lead to drama. A label sets up an expectation that prevents us from seeing the wholeness within others, from acknowledging and appreciating the complexity of human emotions and behaviors.
Thoughts are powerful. They can help manifest dreams, or become roadblocks. The principle of “do no harm” goes beyond words and actions to start at the level of thoughts and intentions, which are the foundation for all relationships. Letting go of drama requires introspection; acknowledging our knowledge gaps, our bias, our habits, and our mental and emotional state. We are rarely innocent bystanders in office politics and drama. Our task is to look into the subtle ways in which we might be contributing to it. A lot of the drama starts from within. I find that when I get entangled in my emotions, the best way to get unstuck is to take a step back to remind myself of my power of choice. When I find myself immersed in a tough situation triggering anxiety, stress, and negativity, I know I need to find a mental “anchor.” For me, it is to recommit to being kinder and more compassionate toward those around me. Miraculously, this helps me reset, refocus on the positive, and let the drama fade into the background.
To me dharma is quite simple (but not easy to do). It’s about allowing myself to connect with my highest self. Here’s how in 3 steps:
Getting comfortable with uncomfortable feelings: I give myself a couple of minutes of mindful silence to sit with my emotions. This creates the space for me to be able to collect my thoughts to move beyond the negative & keep the positive in mind. This gives me the capacity to choose my strategic response to achieve better long-term outcomes despite the momentary discomfort.
Giving others the benefit of the doubt: when I find myself rushing to make a negative judgment, I remind myself that we are all alike. We all have our moments of weakness, being grouchy, unpleasant, or less than. It is then easier to take the high road and extend generosity and grace to the other person who is essentially me on a different day. It’s not personal even if it feels this way. People say and do things because of what is showing up for them at the moment. My choice is to continue to be who I aspire to be.
Choosing compassion: respecting people’s differences and trying to uphold the value of each individual human being. There are many roads and many choices. It is OK to agree to disagree. Regardless of what I observe outwardly, I can never know what is really going on in someone else’s life. All I can do is try to put myself in the other person’s shoe, remain respectful and pleasant, and create a shield of positivity to be able to walk the talk and do what’s right.
This is a deeply meaningful time of year for me, right before the Jewish High Holidays. It is a time to reflect on my choices and recommit to thinking kindly of others, to speaking kindly of and to others, and to do kind things, to be a positive influence.
Wishing you courage and inner strength to face challenges with a positive attitude to be able to recognize the good when some things go wrong.
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