COMPARISON
A common career advice is to not compare ourselves to others. But I find it impossible. To compare is human. And if approached responsibly, it can prompt us to take stock of where our career is going in order to make healthy changes. What better way to gauge where we stand and how to better ourselves than to learn from others?
The challenge is to use comparison for inspiration to propel us forward and not let it pull us into the quicksand of envy, jealousy and self-doubt.
The antidote to negative comparison is CONTENTMENT
The fear that frequently pops up when I talk about contentment is that of becoming complacent. But it is entirely possible to hold two realities in our mind simultaneously: to be both content and committed to self -improvement. Our potential keeps growing, and thus we never stop growing. We have an unlimited capacity to actualize our potential and abilities. This is the intrinsic value of the human experience and living a full life.
As we strive to discover and explore the unknown possibilities before us, we can be content with our life and current circumstances to appreciate and be thankful for the unique gifts of the present time. Cherishing the moment means embracing all that there is, the good, the bad and the painful. It can empower us by recognizing that we have the freedom to choose how we respond and what actions we take. For example, when we have a great job, we can be content with the position as we pursue professional development. We can have a thriving business but continuously strive to look for ways to improve its offerings. Contentment is the mindset of satisfaction and acceptance. It is a positive state of mind that allows us to intentionally focus on the things that are most important to us. When we are grounded in contentment, we are free to pursue our dreams, hopes, and goals. It is not the seeking of “more” material goods but rather the pursuit of meaning, the fulfillment of potential, and learning to bloom to the fullest.
The danger in being content is COMPLACENCY
Complacency can present in many different ways and manifests a wide range of behaviors such as resignation, detachment, indifference, and disinterest. It is often perceived as lack of energy or enthusiasm, which is marked by half-hearted efforts and doing the bare minimum. To me, complacency smells like defeat and tastes like matzah (the unleavened flatbread that’s one of the cornerstones of Passover). Dry, bland, and stuck in your throat. Being stuck in the comfort zone doing only what is easy and safe offers little fun and excitement. We are meant to be in a state of creation and flow. Our nature is to expand. But we need commitment to mobilize and sustain performance to true potential. Commitment doesn’t mean always doing our absolute best. However, it does require a keen assessment to ensure we do what the situation calls for in order to make the appropriate investment of resources to see progress and growth.
The solution is COMMITMENT
Commitment is the dreamcatcher safeguarding secret yearnings. It is the magic wand that turns dreams into reality. Yet, our performance against goals is always within context of time, place, and peers. Comparing ourselves to others is natural, but it may become a potential roadblock to meeting our commitments. It may cause our confidence to falter and our attitude to slip into the making excuses mentality. By being aware of the tendency we can use effective commitment-to-self strategies. Reflection and refinement are key. Reflection is the ability to candidly assess how things are going and whether our actions are in alignment with our goals. Refinement is the ability to proactively manage our behavior choices. Thus, commitment is never static. It is an ongoing decision-making process to determine how to invest our time, energy, and efforts and follow through on our promises and potential.
The glue that holds everything together is COMPASSION
One way to be more content and less complacent, to compare to others and maintain deep commitment to self-improvement, is to practice compassion for self and others. When we compare ourselves to others with no judgment, we are able to extend understanding to them and ourselves for shortcomings, failures, challenges, non-success (yet). It’s Ok to look over the fence and admire the neighbor’s yard. The grass might indeed be greener. It might be a reminder to water our own grass. But as we do the work, we need to let it come from a place of kindness, acceptance, and joy.
Are you taking the time to feed, water, and maintain a healthy lush, greener grass?
Comentários