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Gila Gam

Beginnings from Endings: Self-Reflection to Ignite the Future

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins at sundown on Sunday. This is a somber holiday; no late-night partying or kissing at midnight. It is a deeply religious holiday, and one of Judaism’s holiest days. Rosh Hashanah is called Yom Ha-din, or the Day of Judgment, the day we stand in judgment before God. Every person is inscribed in one of three books: life, death, and in-between. Then there’s a period known as the Ten Days of Repentance leading to Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, when the books are sealed. Being raised orthodox, I was educated in a rigid belief system of reward (book of life if one’s deeds are good) or punishment (book of death for the truly wicked.) So, the High Holidays were scary. I remember being afraid that my transgressions might have outweighed my good deeds, and that I would not make it to see another year. And there was that nagging fear about my family and loved ones - everybody being judged according to their deeds. I thought we were good people, but my overstimulated childhood brain was anxious whether anyone got in trouble with God.


I took the High Holidays prayers very seriously:


“On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed,

And on Yom Kippur it is sealed.

How many shall pass away and how many shall be born,

Who shall live and who shall die,

Who shall reach the end of his days and who shall not,

Who shall perish by water and who by fire.”


It may sound familiar thanks to Leonard Cohen’s version of the prayer “Who by Fire”


“And who by fire, who by water

Who in the sunshine, who in the night time

Who by high ordeal, who by common trial”


Thankfully, I made it safe and sound through many Days of Judgments and Atonements into adulthood. And as I grew up, I moved away from institutional religion to an eclectic spirituality, choosing a path of spiritual exploration, study, and practice. Nowadays, I look for expansiveness drawing upon diverse traditions emphasizing connectedness and community over scriptures. I avoid subscribing to the strictures of any religion, which to me translates to separateness and intolerance, an “us” vs “them” mentality, whereas I seek unity beyond tribalism as one interconnected human family.


And yet, I am deeply connected to the rich history and culture of my people. While I do not observe the Jewish rules and practices, I do take with me the teachings of my childhood to continuously strive to be a better person and to live a more meaningful life. To me, Rosh Hashana kicks of a season of reflection and serious introspection. It is the time of year I look back at what has been in order to prepare myself for what can be, a new and better year. Self-reflection, observing and analyzing oneself, is a humbling process. I carefully examine my beliefs and behaviors, choices and actions, successes and setbacks. I focus my attention on identifying what went well and the things I need to address through self-improvement practices. I pay close attention to my relationships; where I could potentially do better and give more, be more accepting and loving. The commitment I make is to self-improvement and growth. It’s not a commitment to be perfect, just to take steps, however tiny, towards greater meaning, contributions, and fulfillment. A new year is a gift full of possibilities that have yet to come.

Self-reflection is the key to self-awareness. It is a powerful self-development tool. If you want to take on introspection this Fall, think IGNITE:


Identify Your Behavioral Themes

Gain Insight into Yourself

Name the Change You Want to See

Imagine Your Future “Better Self”

Think Up Your Commitments

Establish an Action Plan


To help outline the choices made, actions taken, and the gaps, ask the following 10 questions:

  1. What am I most grateful for this year? Am I taking anything for granted?

  2. Looking back at the goals I set for this year, which did I achieve? Which fell short?

  3. What are the top 3 things I am most proud of this year?

  4. What are 3 things I regret doing, or not doing, this year?

  5. Did I live true to myself this year? In what ways did I do better than last year? Where did I fall short?

  6. What did I struggle with this year? What were some effective strategies I applied?

  7. What is a good habit that I built and made stick this year?

  8. What was the best investment of my time/money this year?

  9. What mistakes did I make this year? What are the lessons learned?

  10. What do I need to let go of and change for the future?


Write down your answers to gain insights that would motivate you to action.


To write your action plan, follow the 5-step process:

  1. Define your Target, your desired outcomes.

  2. Translate your Target into goals.

  3. Break your goals into milestones

  4. Build a roadmap for success listing steps, tasks, and timelines.

  5. Create a resource list of strategies, ideas, solutions, people, etc.


This process is simple, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy. You’d need to develop consistent motivation, focus, and commitment to achieve your goals, your desired outcomes. Dedicate your time, energy and effort mindfully to the things that matter the most to you along the path to better future and a better version of yourself.


Wishing everyone, whether observing the holiday or not, a life filled with meaning, fulfillment and joy. May we all have the courage and stamina to continue on our personal journey toward being the best that we can be as individuals and as a community!




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