Regardless of political leanings and views, I think we can all agree that our country, and the world, is in the midst of a challenging, divisive time. Election campaigns relied heavily on fear mongering. Fear is a powerful motivator in elections. It wins votes, on both sides. We are wired to be drawn to fear as a survival instinct. Staying level-headed in a fear-mongering world is not an easy feat. It requires a proactive, dedicated, and continuous effort. For me, movement provides a helpful avenue for regulating my emotions.
And thus, since the elections, I have done just that, regaining perspective and hope through movement. I traveled to Texas and participated in a fantastic racewalking clinic with Coach Dave McGovern, 15-time U.S. National Champion. The following weekend, in pursuit of my goal to run a half marathon in all 50 states, I took Arkansas off the list running the Summit-to-Summit Half Marathon in Hot Springs National Park. The majority of voters in both states voted different from me, supporting a different presidential candidate and politics. Even though the U.S. presidential election is behind us, emotions are still running high. In the aftermath of the election, I decided to celebrate sameness, not dwell on differences. I want to foster connections and not let disagreements create barriers. I find that we all have similar hopes and dreams, wanting to find love, happiness, success, security, and a sense of peace and fulfillment.
We all have a right to our emotions. It is normal to feel disappointed, overwhelmed, depressed, frustrated and scared when the outcomes are not what we want. So, feel every feeling that surfaces within you. But then, find a way to let go. We can’t choose how we feel, but we can empower ourselves to choose how we respond, to put nonconstructive feelings aside and clear the space to be smart and strategic about how we move forward. When a situation seems scary and feels hopeless, we have the power to rise above it all.
Our senses are constantly bombarded with stimuli, and our brain interprets reality using frames to make sense of the chaos. A frame is an interpretation of reality. To counter fear, we must frame things in terms of hope. In difficult times, hope calls on us to embrace courage to build bridges, create connections, and to foster community. We can do that by embracing our shared humanity, by shifting our focus to the qualities that unite us.
First, we must acknowledge the fallacy of total agreement on values as a foundational element for human connection. We can create connections and have meaningful interactions even with those with whom we do not share the exact same values and priorities. Humanity is better served when we honor the inherent diversity of individual perspective and prioritize compassion, kindness, and connection.
New experiences and new people bring new perspectives. Here are 3 ways to overcome divisiveness:
Orient Toward Similarities
When encountering different beliefs, viewpoints and opinions, orient yourself to the common ground by actively seeking out and focusing on the shared values and interests that you have with the other person. Even when there are significant differences in multiple areas, it is often possible to find a basis for understanding and connection despite potential disagreements. Shared interests bring people together and create a common ground where people can learn from each other and build a meaningful connection, if not a lasting friendship.
Focus on Shared Humanity
When encountering views that we find abhorrent, we are not required to sacrifice our values in order to find the common ground. However, building bridges starts with a recognition of common humanity. We might vehemently disagree, but we may not dehumanize others. Dehumanizing others can fuel hatred and violence. In the face of conflict and divisive rhetoric, let us recognize our shared humanity. Humans are wired to like pattern and order, boxes and pigeonholes. However, the path to personal growth takes us beyond simplistic binaries and towards embracing complexity. Wisdom is the ability to hold multiple truths. Humanity calls upon us to spread light, positivity, knowledge, hope, and goodness into the world. Taking the high road is not easy, but it’s never crowded.
Practice Kindness
Kindness is the bridge that builds connections. Even when we have a different opinion or perspective from someone else, it's important to still treat them with courtesy and kindness. A disagreement must not be used as an excuse to be rude or dismissive towards others. It's possible to disagree strongly with others while still doing so with respect and compassion. Our shared humanity means we should treat each other with compassion and care for one another’s well-being. We always have the choice to promote a friendly atmosphere and to make every place warm and welcoming. Practicing kindness and compassion can help foster connections during divisive times.
In certain situations, especially when dealing with significant conflict or unhealthy dynamics, disengaging and stepping away can be a completely acceptable choice, as long as it's done in a respectful and responsible manner, and with the goal of promoting civility in the world. Change starts with each of us. If we want to see change in the world, we must be the change, leading by example. If it seems like a herculean task, remember the saying form Ethics of the Fathers: “Rabbi Tarfon used to say… It is not up to you to finish the task, but you are not free to avoid it.” (Chapter 2:16)
The world is broken. It’s up to each of us to repair it. But do not get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task. Let’s begin by taking action, no matter how small, one action, one day at a time, consistently.
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