When choosing to spend time outdoors, I tend to envision my nature excursion - what I want to do, and what I would like the experience to be. And then, there are other people. Because I live in sunny California, I have the benefit of year-round great hiking conditions. I meet trail users of all stripes. Most often, hiking provides me with a peaceful escape. But on occasion, I may witness a verbal altercation between hikers and mountain bikers (thankfully never a physical one, although a couple of times I came upon an injured person.) Let there be no mistake that although we all unplug and get out in nature seeking that wonderful warm, fuzzy feeling in our heart, there’s a cold war raging in the woods, an us-versus-them dynamic happening on our shared trails. I have had some scary reckless cyclists encounters out on the trail. But over the weekend, I had an amazing experience hiking Fort Ord National Monument. It’s a beautiful park offering expansive grassy fields, oak groves, and 360° views of the Salinas Valley. But what really stood out to me was a feeling of being a part of a community of outdoor enthusiasts, of people feeling a strong sense of commitment to enjoy the great outdoors responsibly and collectively.
Mountain bikers conscientiously used bells and called out as they were coming down slopes and blind switchbacks also letting hikers know how many others were behind them. Hikers did the same letting the cyclists know if there were other hikers up ahead. So simple. It seemed that with a little bit of goodwill, we were all able to not just tolerate each other, but to co-exist in harmony and peace navigating the trails. It should come as no surprise that following a few unwritten rules can make everyone’s experience more pleasant. Among trail etiquette dos and don’ts is that bikers are expected to yield to hikers on the trail, a responsibility that comes with wheels and speed. However, there are rules, and there are common sense and consideration. Because mountain bikes are faster when descending, it requires a lot of effort for a biker to maneuver a bike to avoid a collision. In most cases, it is generally easier for hikers to yield and get out of the way. This is also true on steep inclines. It is an act of kindness to step aside and let a struggling biker huffing and puffing pass. Oh, if we were all willing to live the golden rule, to shift focus from self to others, treat people as we’d like to be treated in their place, and be smart, not right.
This is not dissimilar to the workplace where co-workers with diverse backgrounds, experiences, perspectives, values and skillsets need to co-exist and just have a good day at work. Can you imagine what it would be like with no workplace politics nor turf wars at the office? No egos, drama, or emotions running high, just common sense presiding and people looking out for others? Can you envision this utopian workplace? Well, to quote Walt Disney, if we can dream it, we can do it. But the buck stops with each of us. We have to approach work life with the expectation that we will cross paths with many different people. No work environment is perfect. Inevitably, you will have to deal with a co-worker you just don’t like, whether a boss, a direct report, or a team member. Avoiding people, you don’t like might seem like a successful strategy, but sadly, it is not always possible. Thus, coming to work with the right mindset is critical. Remind yourself that individual differences and personal styles are to be expected. No one is out there to deliberately ruin your day. Additionally, “it’s all about me” thinking isn’t going to cut it either.
On and off the trail you may have to interact with diverse personalities. You might encounter some difficult or toxic people. The art of skillfully steering conversations with colleagues has two levels:
To survive, lend an EAR to avoid a collision.
To thrive, be a MENSCH to expand opportunities.
To survive, lend an EAR to avoid a collision
A cardinal rule of surviving in nature, or the workplace jungle, is to maintain a proper lookout by sight, hearing, and by all available means appropriate at all times. Practice the acronym EAR:
E is for exercising good judgment
Good judgment is about making effective decisions, which means evaluating the current situation, gathering all available information, identifying the choices at hand, and picking the best possible move to make given the circumstances.
A is for asserting yourself
When interacting with others, it is important to actively listen to understand and consider their point of view, while suspending judgment. However, it is just as important to speak up and make yourself and your position clear on the things that truly matter. You, too, deserve to be heard, seen, and understood.
R is for reading the signs
Your best bet for survival is knowing how to navigate the world and the people that surround you. To ensure you don’t miss the forest for the trees, learn to pick up on social cues; try and understand what is important to people and what impacts their behavior.
To thrive, be a MENSCH to expand opportunities
A mensch is many things and one simple thing, doing what’s right. To show up as your best self, practice the acronym MENSCH:
M is for being mindful – pay attention to your surrounding adopting a nonjudgmental stance.
E is for being emphatic – choose to care about the well-being, happiness, and success of others.
N is for being nimble – respond quickly and effectively focusing on positive outcomes.
S is for being savvy – build your social capital and network by nurturing strong relationships.
C is for being cheerful – recognize that your energy is contagious and maintain a positive attitude.
H is for being helpful – consider the impact of your actions and aspire to lift others up as you climb.
We all have dreams, needs, and wants. Everyone has bad days and bad moments. But what matters most is how we choose to conduct ourselves, to show up each day, and to impact our community and the world. We are all in it together. So, always pause to consider the ripple effect your behavior can create, and choose your words and actions carefully, conscientiously, and with loving care.
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