A “shelter in place” order becomes effective at midnight tonight in six Bay Area counties. As the Coronavirus sweeps the world so do fear and anxiety. And while there are many technological solutions to support work from home and to keep up some semblance of normalcy, these are stressful times for everyone. I am trying to remain optimistic and help myself and my clients embrace uncertainty rather than be held captive by it. Any major disruptions to our life are scary. A good first step in managing uncertainty is naming the feeling, recognizing that uncertainty begets fear. Most of us are not very good at dealing with the stress of not knowing what the future holds in this kind of a full-blown global crisis. But fear adds insult to injury – another layer of negative emotions to the mix. And perhaps our most pressing challenge and most urgent priority right now is to unlink uncertainty and fear, transforming them into opportunity and hope.
It’s important to note that everyone reacts differently to tough times. There’s no one “right” way to muster the courage to face the challenges with strength. However, fear is a powerful force that can be leveraged to prompt action. Whereas fear is an unconscious reaction, courage is a conscious response. It is a decision to bravely walk through our fears step by determined step. The courage to endure and endeavor is a human quality indicative of the inner workings of the human spirit. To get through difficult times, it is important to focus on the things that can be done and on possibilities. The Serenity Prayer is always a good reminder to graciously accept the things we cannot change, to courageously work to change the things we can, and to discern wisely between what is and isn’t in our control.
I’ve always loved the Taoist story of the old farmer. The old farmer had worked diligently in the fields for many years when his horse disappeared. All his neighbors came to express their sympathy at the unfortunate turn of events. But the farmer remained calm saying “whether this is good or bad remains to be seen.” Within a few days the horse returned home with two wild horses. The neighbors came back offering their congratulations on his good luck. And again, the farmer remained calm saying “whether this is good or bad remains to be seen.” The farmer’s son decided to tame the wild horses, and in an attempt to mount the animals, he was thrown off and broke his leg. The neighbors bearing small gifts and good wishes for a speedy recovery cluck their tongues at the terrible misfortune. But the farmer held firm maintaining that “whether this is good or bad remains to be seen.” Within a week, the country went to war, and military officials came to the village taking all the young men into the army. The farmer’s son was not drafted since his leg was broken. To his neighbors, who were worried about their sons, the farmer’s words of encouragement were “whether this is good or bad remains to be seen.” To me, the story is about the nature of courage. It is the ability to remain calm and carry on whatever life throws our way.
The future cannot be predicted, and nothing is guaranteed. The only possible guarantee of the future is the relentless pursuit of actionable solutions to intractable problems. As we all walk up to a new reality and uncharted territory regarding COVID-19, fear may be par for the course. As it shows up, let’s pause and give it the nod of acknowledgement. Then quickly shed it off and move past it. Instead of fretting over things, focus on ways to enhance your work and personal life. Try and direct your mental energy toward the positive and mapping out effective coping strategies to see you through the hard stuff. Here are 3 things to consider:
Create a new daily routine for potentially staying at home for a prolonged period of time
Create a self-care menu of activities to boost your well-being and lift your spirits
Create your virtual “water cooler” to avoid feeling isolated and to keep in touch with colleagues, friends, and family members who are out of sight
I’ll leave you with this: “You’re worried about what-ifs. Well, what if you stopped worrying?”
~Shannon Celebi
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