It’s been a tough year for me. It started with the loss of my father in January, and it is ending with Hamas’s savage attack on Israeli civilians, with at least 236 people still held hostage by Hamas - babies, children, women, and the elderly, all innocent civilians. My heart is broken, feeling overwhelmed by the feelings of shock, deep sadness, and anger. I feel crushed by the deafening silence of women and human rights activists. I watch in disbelief the blatant anti-Semitic rhetoric across the globe. What Hamas did cannot be excused. Why are so many people giving Hamas the moral “high-ground” refusing to unequivocally condemn the atrocities? Why do so many feminists remain silent when Hamas terrorists brutally raped women, climate change activities do not speak up despite common knowledge about the labyrinth tunnels that create detrimental effects on the environment, and the LGBTIQA+ community support Hamas even though Hamas kills their community members in Gaza? Why do people who claim to be human rights activists chant anti-Semitic slogans?
It's easy to get depressed about the state of the affairs in 2023. Our world is entrenched in war, terror, mass killings, and hate spreading faster than the Coronavirus. It feels very personal when antisemitism hits close to home. Since October 7th, I’ve been having nightmares about Hamas brutality, cruelty, and savagery: gang rape, genital mutilation, burned bodies, decapitated babies, and torture of people in their homes. I wake up every morning holding my breath as I listen to the headlines, afraid for the fate of the hostages. Yes, I am heartbroken by the loss of Palestinian life, but I believe Israel has the right to defend its citizens from Hamas. I trust that the IDF is doing all it can to get civilians out of harm's way. I know it’s mission impossible because Hamas is doing the exact opposite, using Palestinians as human shields (e.g.; using schools, hospitals & mosques for military purposes.) All of the Palestinians in Gaza are Hamas’ hostages, just as much as the hostages they kidnapped - babies, children, women, and innocent civilians.
I wish I had a magic wand to take the pain away from those who suffer greatly. Sadly, there are no words to heal a broken heart. I find it hard to be thankful when witnessing so much devastation around the world, and in my home country. But then I remind myself that Thanksgiving is all about holding onto the positives and finding gratitude at a dark time. The truth is, I have so much to be thankful for. Nobody in my family was killed or physically injured although we all carry the scars of intergenerational trauma. Jewish people were targeted and persecuted over the centuries. Antisemitism is called “the longest hatred.”
I am thankful to live in a country that affords me, and my children, freedoms and opportunities. While I am worried about increasing levels of antisemitism, we can practice our religion and enjoy prosperity. There’s just so much joy in celebrating this national day of giving thanks - from spending time with family and friends, to eating delicious food prepared with love, and having the freedom to observe the day however we want. Feeling gratitude is about being thankful for all that we have and all the goodness that is in our life. This does not imply that life is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. It means I recognize that even in this dark time, there are so many good things in my life. Feeling grateful in the face of adversity involves directing attention and choosing to focus on the good things while holding space and working to do Tikkun Olam (world-repair, social justice.)
Gratitude is a choice. The option to adopt a grateful attitude means looking for and noticing the positive things, or the more optimistic viewpoint in any given situation. Gratitude is a powerful life-skill. And like any skill, seeking the good in people and seeing the positive can be developed through deliberate practice. Cognitive re-framing is a simple life hack – what we focus on grows. When we proactively bring positive thoughts and feelings to consciousness, we can shift to a more optimistic mindset even if nothing about the situation itself changes.
There are many different techniques to shift negative thoughts and feelings into positive ones. For me, writing a gratitude list is a very powerful tool. It reminds me that I am surrounded by abundance and have many things to be thankful for. I have special people in my life who love me, support me, uplift me, and bring me happiness and joy. Why don’t you try this right now? Think of somebody or something that makes you frustrated, angry, sad, or upset. Now think of anything at all in your life for which you feel thankful. For one minute write down all the positive things associated with the thing you are grateful for. When you invoked a feeling of gratitude, how did your body respond? Have you noticed any change in your mood?
What are you grateful for this Thanksgiving? I challenge you to come up with a list of at least 10 things you are grateful for in your life. How can you bring more gratitude into your personal and professional life this holiday season and in the coming year?
As I am writing this morning, there is hope in my heart that the agreement between Hamas and Israel will be finalized, and tomorrow 50 children and babies held hostages will be released, and humanitarian aid will be sent in to Gaza. I am still greatly concerned for the welfare of close to 200 other hostages. I am still anxiously worried about the threat to Israel by Hamas and Hezbollah.
But I have to keep faith that things will get better, that the hostages will return safely home, some tomorrow, and the rest soon, and that peace will prevail.
I wish you a heart filled with gratitude on this Thanksgiving and throughout the year.
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