In the pursuit of my multi-year goal to run a half marathon in all 50 states, I just took CO off the list last weekend. It was a no good, very bad run. I’ve had challenging runs before when running with an injury, or in the pouring rain (MA), but I’ve always felt that I performed to the best of my ability. This time, I had a bad run and finished poorly. I was disappointed with my performance feeling there were no extenuating circumstances, just excuses. I know that bad workouts and bad runs happen, even to elite athletes – it’s part of the journey. Still, it is an uncomfortable and troubling experience having a truly bad run. I didn’t hit my pace goal and struggled mightily to run my regular easy pace. I had to resort to the walk-run method. As I have worked to process and recover from my bad run, I’ve learned that it can serve as a great teacher – for running, life, and long-term career success.
After taking some time to sit with and feel my feelings (aka wallowing), I knew I had to gain control over my emotions and mindfully work through them in a healthy and productive way. Whenever something upsetting happens, whether on the run or on the job, ask the following 3 questions:
1. What went well?
When things don’t go our way (missing race time goal, a deadline, or weekly weight loss goal), it is easy to get trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, seeing the situation, and ourselves, as either a success or a failure. Our performance as either totally good or totally bad, and if totally bad then dwell on negative thoughts. This negative thinking usually involves a lot of self-judgment and harsh self-criticism. It is important to recognize that even when we miss a milestone, or a goal, there are always things that went right. Purposely look for the positives, even if very small wins. Get in the habit of writing 3 things that went well for you.
2. What didn’t go well?
Once you identify the things that went well for you, look at what wasn’t quite right. Do the postmortem without sugarcoating anything that happened. Sometimes things go wrong for reasons out of your control, and sometimes because of your choices and actions – a mistake, a misstep, or poor judgment. It is important to take ownership of the choices made and why in order to uncover vulnerabilities (e.g., high-altitude) and identify any avoidable mistakes (e.g.; underfueling.)
3. What can I do better?
Remember that even when things go wrong, you can still keep going strong. In fact, the human experience is that things rarely go perfectly as planned in any area of our life. Mishaps are inevitable, and may sometimes lead to good outcomes. Setback do not define you. The key is to be willing to learn and recognize what you can gain from the experience.
When we think about reaching our goals, we often imagine the big wins and the major breakthroughs. The truth is that when you work to achieve new goals, you will experience setbacks, disappointments, and temporary failures (the dreaded DNF – Did not Finish.) Achieving Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs) is not easy. The secret to overcoming bad days is taking a long-term perspective on progress, growth, and success. Once you learn to overcome the fear of bad days, you can bring the right mindset to the situation to set the ground for better outcomes. Instead of beating yourself up for missed targets, build up the strategies that will help you get back on track to successfully achieve your goals.
5 Strategies to Get Through Bad Days and Rough Patches:
1. Know your “why” and let it guide you to your goals
Runners start running for many reasons. I believe that most keep running because they enjoy it. Unlike running, most of us start working because we have to. That being said, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t find meaning and joy in our work and strive to have a great career run. Always take a purposeful perspective and bring it to everything you do in your personal and professional life, on bad days and good days, in good times and in bad times.
2. Look for root causes and learn from the struggle
Do the honest self-reflection. It is absolutely vital for progress and growth. We are all a messy collection of wants, goals, motives, aspirations, fears, successes, the “already done” and the “not yet.” Get in the habit of sitting with yourself to analyze past performance and how you are currently doing to extract from the past how to move forward into the future you want with gusto. When you honestly evaluate your effort and performance you learn how you can improve and become better tomorrow than you were yesterday.
3. Always be optimizing: minimize the suck and maximize the awesome
There are two ways to find confidence and joy while pursuing big goals: decrease the suck (pain and suffering – physical or emotional) and/or increase the awesome (incentives, rewards, and positive emotions.) Understanding what motivates and what demotivates you to stay focused on your goals can make the difference between persistently persevering to completion and giving up or quietly quitting. Design an environment for success and set up your surroundings to shape your behaviors to achieve your goals.
4. Practice Resilience to build the skills to turn bad days around
Setting goals can help you quantify success. However, your expectations and attachment to an outcome can get the better of you. Some days, no matter how hard you try, and how much you want it, things might not go your way. Some days, you will not have a “good run.” Building resilience will help you navigate the twists and turns and get through a difficult day. It can also empower you not merely to survive, but to thrive. Like developing any skill, increasing your resilience takes practice and intentionality. Create a Coping Toolbox of skills, techniques, activities, people, and objects to turn to in order to pick yourself up and move forward with confidence.
5. Nurture your network and cultivate a circle of support
Building a healthy support network is critical to your journey. The bigger your goals, the more support you will ultimately need. Your success is the sum of the resources at your disposal and the people you connect with in a meaningful way. Both can augment what you bring to the table to ensure you are equipped with the right tools to succeed. Seek out those people who would continuously hold you to a higher standard and motivate you to grow into your potential. Spend time with those who will take you to the next level. The right supporters would enhance your performance. Be intentional in how you manage your interpersonal relationships; they can empower you, build you, and sustain you. All of the choices you make, make you.
At the end of the day, we have a lot to be thankful for. Just having the opportunity to make choices is something I do not take for granted. When you work hard for something and fail to meet your goal, expectations, and hopes, regardless of how big or small, it is only natural to feel disappointment. However, while disappointment is inevitable, do not be discouraged. Know that there will be another opportunity down the road. So, once you feel your feelings, use the experience to motivate you to give yourself another chance, or as many as you need to reach your goals. To build a successful career you enjoy, keep setting real goals that will help you grow in a meaningful way. As you make a sincere effort to put in hard work in your personal and professional life, you will have good days and bad days. The good days will give you a sense of accomplishment and joy. The bad days will give you experience and lessons. Each day is the opportunity to create lasting memories.
Comments