Facing a big decision? Are you stuck in your own head caught in unproductive mental loops of overthinking and over-analyzing? At some point we all have to make a decision that could alter our career path. I have been lucky to work with many people who face critical “forks in the road” and guide them as they navigate major life and career choices. What often gets in the way is a debilitating need for certainty, to be absolutely sure. It’s a basic comfort to be in control and feel secure in a decision. Sadly, it is not always that simple to know if a career choice is the right one, or not. Getting beyond these forks in the road requires juggling two seemingly contradictory strategies: data collection and analysis as well as emotional equanimity. Take the time to deliberate and consider your options, but choose to live in the moment, to know when it’s time to stop ruminating and start doing.
We all have those times when we have to make a decision, and we just don’t know what to do. The first step is to collect information and examine the facts, considering the pros and cons of different options. But there is such a thing as too much thinking. Overthinking involves replaying different scenarios without forming any concrete action plans. Effective decision-making is about making meaningful revelations and resolutions to be able to take a step toward a new path. When you meet the moment, you embrace everything about the situation. This allows you to respond in a meaningful way. You should consider the “what ifs” but recognize that the present moment is the only thing you have control over.
Every big decision involves a mix of excitement for new possibilities and apprehension of the unknown. Big decisions force us to confront the uncertainty and discomfort inherent in taking risks. If there’s no uncertainty, it’s not really a decision because there is no choice to be made, only to do what must be done. Even when there are a few options, if one is clearly better than all others, it is a no-brainer. The decision practically makes itself requiring very little thought or analysis. Big decisions require us to choose when the information we have is incomplete, and there is no clear best path forward. These kinds of decisions are risk-based; meaning there is a chance to win (improve current situation) and the potential to lose (be worse off.)
What is the right response to a big decision?
First ask: How can I meet this moment fully? How can I meet it as a friend?
Then orient yourself to a certain direction: what would be the best possible good? You need to accept that you have limited information, and “the good” is just good enough to empower you to take your next step. Trust that whatever you choose to do will be your best bet. Do what you believe to be the best possible move in this particular situation.
Define your decision objectives
Assess the level of risk (the “what ifs”) and the upside
Identify what you are willing to do for now for the good
Ultimately, when you need to make a big decision, the present moment wants an action from you. Choosing to not do anything also counts as an action. Just as a lie by omission is still a lie. When you choose an act on omission (inaction) you are still responsible for the consequential outcome resulting from the choice to wait and let things unfold. The power to choose our response is the gift of agency. But the gift of agency is not free and comes with a price – accountability. We are responsible for the choices we make, whether by action or inaction, and the tangible and intangible consequences that ensue. To act or to be acted upon by the universe is the question. It is futile to try and control the incontrollable, but is lying down and waiting for the world to roll over us a better option? There’s empowerment in action. But what is the right action? Well, that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Fortunately, the present moment truly offers all that you need if you take the time to pay attention and work with what you have, not against it. Don’t get caught up in what could happen in the future. Focus on what you can do right now. Create the space for new things to emerge.
And above all, be kind to yourself. Realize that we all get lost in our heads from time to time, and especially when making critical decisions. Meet the day and give yourself the time and space to think and then recognize and acknowledge the positives and the joys in your life. By promoting hope and optimism, you will reduce the fear and vulnerability and increase your confidence and strength to throw yourself into the unknown. Whatever decision you make, there will be challenges and a few bumps along the way. No amount of worrying or planning can guarantee an obstacle-free path. Believe you are strong enough to successfully meet life’s challenges. If a problem is fixable, you will find the right solution. If it’s not, there is no benefit to dwelling on what cannot be changed. Rise up, seize the opportunity, and go forth and conquer.
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