It’s a new Year! Each new year offers an EXECITING opportunity for a fresh start to make it an AWESOME year, the BEST year ever.
But what if you are feeling “not so excited” this new year?
What if you are tired of “awesome” and “exciting?” Of chasing “the best?”
What if you are not quite ready to forget the past and celebrate a new start? What if last year’s challenges persist?
If this is you, know that you are not alone. Also, please recognize that times of hardship and challenges should not be a reason to give up on yourself. A difficult time may be the opportune time to plant seeds for a better future.
Remember: you don’t have to feel excited nor expect the beginning of the year to set the tone for the rest of the year. It’s unreasonable. But we are all made to move forward in life. You can and must keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. Find a calmer, more gracious, way to take action. Let the worries of the future evaporate into the air. We only have control over one thing – ourselves. Focus on the things within your control. Do what is helpful and leave the rest.
One pattern I see over and over again in my coaching practice, is people being stuck in uncertainty and indecision. Life is filled with uncertainty. To doubt is human. In and of itself feeling doubtful, indecisive, unenthusiastic, or unambitious isn’t a problem. However, being stuck in such feelings is like being stuck in a molasses swamp, expanding a lot of energy with no real movement occurring. The core issue is the unwillingness to face a tough situation, not the situation in and of itself. The situation is a given. Inaction is a choice.
When my clients say “I am stuck,” I ask the following 2 questions:
How are you stopping yourself from moving forward?
What are you getting out of not making a change and settling for the status quo?
Often, what we get out of inaction is not facing what we don’t want to face (the “bury the head in the sand” approach) or not feel emotions we aren’t ready to process (the emotional numbness approach.) We choose staying stuck because it is very scary to take action. But when we are unwilling to face reality, we create boundaries. Self-imposed limitations are shackles that hold us down. Sometimes, there are good reasons to stay stuck in inaction, but there are always better outcomes when we face the truth about what’s keeping us stuck. It is hard to look at your life and take a good inventory of what’s going on. But it is just as hard to wallow in misery perpetuating the negative emotional energy.
So, this year, take a new approach: facing rather than avoiding, striving rather than arriving. The journey toward self-growth matters more than any one outcome. Rather than focusing on the destination (goal-achievement), focus on the process of exploration and discovery (personal growth.) As you launch yourself into the new year, think about the things you’d like to achieve in 2024 in order to become an improved version of yourself. Recognize that it is a process and not a destination. It is the process that counts rather than merely the end result. Whatever the end-goal is, it never defines you, or your self-worth and value. What counts is the commitment to go through the process of “becoming.” It’s a journey of endeavor, failures, endurance, learning, and growing. To realize new possibilities, you need to be ready, willing, and able to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Give yourself the gift of flexibility to explore a series of destination.
Here are 3 principles to guide you as you move forward into the new year:
Broaden your comfort zone
Are there things you’ve dreamed about doing, but you’ve been too scared to try? Is fear holding you back? They say that fear kills more dreams than failure ever will. Instead of asking yourself “what if I fail?” reframe the question and imagine what it would feel like to experiment. Maybe 2024 is the year to dare work on that secret yearning? Dare yourself to try something new. Visualize what that “thing” looks like and work to make it happen. While success is sweet, the true benefit is the endeavor. Take a small risk every day. Little by little, your fear will dissipate, and your confidence will develop.
Keep it simple
The big trick to getting unstuck is to keep your mind on the simple, smaller things you can do. Think of it as chunking your life; breaking problems and tasks into incremental chunks on which you can easily focus. Often, the busyness of the modern lifestyle makes it difficult to simplify life when we are constantly pushed to do more, be more, achieve more, and have more. When we juggle too much, autopilot becomes our default modus operandi. We become focused on getting through the day instead of on what’s really important and what gives us joy. Simplifying your life is about clarifying your priorities and finding ways of doing the have-tos while making room for the want-tos. Simplicity is the absence of the unneeded, unnecessary, and unessential. The challenge is to figure out what to give up and let go.
Practice radical responsibility
Once you figure out what’s essential to you (vs what feels urgent, what others want of you, the “shoulds,” and the busywork), it’s time to make a commitment to creating the life you want, for now. You are never just stuck in life. There are always options, power moves to make. Commitment is the foundation for personal and professional growth. Radical responsibility means taking commitment to a whole new level. It’s ownership on overdrive. It’s simple but hard. Taking full responsibility for our life means accepting all the circumstances of our life – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Then working to change the situation for the better rather than just complain about what’s not working. Responsibility sets you free. When you accept that even though you may not be in control of your circumstances, you are in control of your choices, you will feel empowered to take action. And any step is better than no step forward.
You don’t need to feel excited about the new year, but it is important to put yourself out there and work hard to create a future you are excited about and proud of.
Wishing you peace, prosperity, and pride in your work.
Comments