Last week I tested positive for COVID. It was not a surprise since I knew I was exposed and was having symptoms. And yet, there was that moment of feeling “better get ready cause it’s going down. It’s happening, for real.” Considering my lifestyle, international travel and hot yoga and Pilates classes, it was a question of “when” not “if.” For a minute there I did feel a bit invincible when my husband caught covid last year for Christmas, and despite the extensive exposure, I didn’t get sick. But logically, I knew it was just a question of time. Following our social isolation over the holidays, I jumped back into the world with two feet, fully recognizing that the risk was there every time I left my front door. 4 vaccines, 2 years spent dodging the virus, and countless Covid tests, Coronavirus has finally caught up with me. Tag- I am sick!
In a way, I’ve been gearing up to get in the ring for a while. Now what? The next few paragraphs are my way of processing my covid experience; not being prepared for a weeklong recovery process. You may skip the personal sharing and scroll straight to some practical tips to embracing the plot twists.
It’s an interesting fun fact that as soon as I let my friends know I got Covid, they started sending me articles like the one in the Los Angeles Times warning against trying to power through Covid and the need to take enough rest. What can I say; my friends know me too well. I am not very good at taking rest days and prefer active recovery. I am actually great at being busy. I love being in a constant state of flow, of creation and motion. As much as I enjoy the Now, I get very excited when I think about possibilities and make plans; nexting – imagining pathways for the future and my goals. Yes, I am a planning junkie. I am often criticized for scheduling every minute of my day. Many see this as a bit obsessive. However, I find that this habit not only helps me guard against distractions, but it also allows me to take time into my own hands squeezing the most out of every hour, including workout time and fun activities. It does mean though that as a chronic planner, there’s not much room in my life for carefree spontaneity (unless the time is booked on my calendar….)
For me, nexting, planning interesting projects and fun adventures is the best way to reboot my energy. I’ve learned that if I wait for the right time, nothing happens. To sprinkle my life with more fun, I need to plan for it. If it’s not on my calendar, it won’t ever happen. I proactively look for ways to spend time doing the things I enjoy. I am constantly on the lookout to bring more ooh and awe to my life. It needn’t be an epic adventure. It can be activities like spending time in nature, reading or listening to inspiring stories, pushing myself through the toughest workouts, or thinking up new ideas. In short, anything and everything that makes me feel as if I am a part of something bigger than myself. It means trying to make the most of every day while having things to look forward to in the future. I intentionally work to fill my life with hope, optimism, and wonder. I get excited about a lot of little things.
In the past week, combating flu-like symptoms and fatigue, I had to finally concede that I needed some rest. I thought I’d breeze through covid symptoms and recover quickly, like I typically do when I get injured or sick. Here’s the plot twist: getting better is not happening as quickly as I expected. My “nexting” is delayed. To me, exercise is medicine. But I had to allow the idea that sometimes rest can be the best medicine. An attempt to research the topic “exercising with Covid” produced mixed results and contradictory advice. It’s actually encouraging because it means there’s room for interpretation when translating input to my own experience. Every person is different. I realized I’d have to evaluate how much work was OK and how to gradually resume physical activity while fighting the virus. I’ve learned that for me, working and staying mobile was possible and absolutely necessary. But it also became crystal clear that pushing myself will do more harm than good. Perhaps the most important lesson of this experience for me is to embrace every twist and turn. Every up and down. To go with the flow as the story unfolds.
My lesson is tolerance. If my covid recovery, or other things in my life, don’t follow the linear path, I need to leave as much room for the plot twists as for the planning. Very few things in life, and in our career, turn out as expected. And this is what makes the journey interesting. There can be joy in learning about yourself and discovering new things. Parts of the experiences and discoveries will be negative, and that’s OK. When they pop up, ask:
What can I do to meet this moment fully?
What is this experience trying to teach me?
What does this curveball now make possible?
Challenges are sent to make me stronger. Every time I face a difficulty, I increase my tolerance and improve my coping skills. Every time there’s a change of plan, I am given a chance to explore options outside my comfort zone. There are always multiple alternatives to think, be, and live. Instead of lamenting lost possibilities, I have the gift of new ones opening up.
Here’s how to embrace the hidden gems in every plot twist:
1. Sit with the difficulty
Sitting with feelings can be uncomfortable. Give yourself permission to feel the feelings. Process the emotions and let go. This is how healing starts.
2. Rest in awareness
Accept the new reality for what it is. Stop resisting what cannot be changed. Allow yourself to recognize the new options that start to emerge. This is when opportunity presents itself.
3. Take action
When ready - act, even if only one small step to propel yourself forward. Re-engage with your life. Find and connect the pieces of the puzzle that fit together. This is how change starts.
As of writing this, I am yet to test negative. I am still isolating and very anxious to get back out into the world. But I know how lucky I am. I can work from home and control the pace of my day. But what if I had an onsite job where I needed to be on my feet all day and needed to take medical leave? While I had to adjust my workout routine, I have a home gym and could continue my low-impact at-home workouts. I am truly grateful for having only mild symptoms and for the massive support from clients, family and friends.
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