Our contemporary culture values individualism and living authentically, being true to self. It promotes the idea that power comes from standing in one’s truth. It often takes the form of prioritizing the needs of an individual over the needs of a group as a whole. But to live one’s truth can mean a lot of different things. To me it means the following:
Aligning my choices and actions with my core values.
Making decisions with confidence rather than fear.
Smashing limiting beliefs and embracing possibilities.
Yet, I believe that living one’s truth also demands coexisting with others. By nature, humans are inherently social; therefore, we seek the company of others, to varying degrees. And so, our well-being is based on coexistence. Finding and standing in our truth is important, but it is as equally important to recognize that we are all biased by our own version of what is true. Truth is often subjective. One’s truth might be another person’s lie. As we own our power and truth, we also need to honor and respect someone else’s truth and opinions. This means that compromise is a non-negotiable part of living and working successfully with other people. In essence, compromise is owning the ultimate truth that we don’t know everything, and that there are many different perspectives and ways to be in the world.
It can be difficult when we interact with those who hold different beliefs than ours. But to interact with others without compromise is to become an inflexible and ineffective human. This makes it hard to maintain healthy relationships. When we share experiences with others, along with living our truth, we must be able to give and receive in equal measure. Without being open to diverse perspectives, we risk being stuck in our default view of the world with no room to intertwine our life with that of others living their truth. “My way or the highway” is the mindset of dictators. The ability to get along with others and build meaningful relationships is an indispensable skill. It requires the flexibility to interact with different people in a number of different ways. This means being able to see things from someone else’s perspective. Our judgments and biases get in the way of effective communications. In order to work well with others and reach agreements we need to see things and understand the bigger picture beyond our own limited experience.
Failure to do so might make us players in a self-created reality of our imagination. We become like Don Quixote tilting at windmills and engaged in misguided pursuits of what we perceive as threats to our carefully constructed world. Now, Don Quixote is a radical example of a person who lives an alternate vision of reality not letting the facts get in the way of a good story. But most of us have our own share of personal biases and beliefs that sway our judgments and the decisions we make each and every day. It may get in the way of better outcomes. Sticking to our idealistic beliefs and our own truth as the ultimate truth can do as much harm as good. Too much navel-gazing and excessive self-absorption result in misplaced goals and irrational behaviors. To listen to the voice of reason, we need to be willing to listen to diverse voices.
In today’s world, it is often challenging to stand our truth and take our path while caring for and honoring other people’s truth. It seems that a good starting point is acknowledging that owning one’s truth should be about making a difference and having impact. To do that in a complex world means approaching people and situations with genuine curiosity and desire to truly understand vastly different world views. Through life, like the blind men, we are all touching a different part of the elephant. The beauty of the human experience is that there are multiple aspects of truth and reality. To be effective in our pursuits and efforts to do good in the world we must always ask: “what am I missing?” To be effective leaders of change, we must break free of the confines of the narrow boundaries of our own truth and master the art of compromise.
Compromise is perhaps the most difficult and elusive skill. In a culture in which giving up is not an option, we erroneously interpret compromise to mean giving up. In truth, it is a valuable skill in life and in the workplace. Being able to balance multiple perspectives and concerns when making decisions is the key to building stronger relationships and finding workable solutions that allow everyone to move forward successfully. The tricky part is learning when and how to compromise. Effective compromise entails differentiating between principles and positions. Principles are your core values, the truth you stand for. Positions are the pursuits and goals you are trying to achieve. When compromising, do not sacrifice your integrity nor your principles. However, when you focus too much on your positions, which are a means to an end, you risk distracting yourself from your true purpose. Focus on value creation by doing the things that really matter. Seek for the impact of your actions to be profound and wide-reaching.
Be in the habit of exploring beyond what you know and believe. It’s the only way to learn new things. This will allow you to be more open, more adaptable, and better positioned to find career success.
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